if i was your lover

if i were wealthy
i would by you the world and wrap it up with string
if i were clever
i would make sense of this life for you
if i were a healer
i would make you feel no pain
if i were a cellist
i would compose my music in your beautiful image
if i were a gardener
i would grow you sweet roses
if i was your lover
i would tell you all of these things in a poem
if i was a poet
i would tell you these things while we made love.

Whore

you walk into my room and say
my god I've had an awful day
i listen and pretend to care
half wishing that you weren't there
you pull me close and kiss my chest
and say 'you know, i like you best'
you lay me down and strip me bare
now you're the one pretending to care
i feel the blood now rising high
you stretch your arms up to the sky
to feel the sweat
the heat
the taste
you'd lay your whole damn life to waste
you close your eyes
the lights grow dim
i´ll moan and beg you
put it in
your hands caress me
now you shake
you hope to god
that you wont wake
your body screams out
please don't stop
but what of the other girl you've got?
where is she in all of this?
i kiss your chest
in ill feigned bliss
then suddenly
your mind returns
inside you're wishing i was her
your eyes grow distant
you say no more
now you've got what you came for
you leave the money on the stand
no strings attached
just cash in hand
you go back to your perfect life
your perfect home
your perfect wife
i scream 'don't you come back no more!'
that's what you get
when you're a whore.

waiting for the rainbow

I'm waiting for the rainbow
and I'm lying on the floor
the cool blue hue of solitude
is shining through the door
inside the air is warmer
and your body burns my skin
I'm waiting for the rainbow
but there's darkness still within
I'm waiting for that moment
I'm waiting for a sign
i want to know if so is so
and if you're really mine
my head feels light and dizzy
my body's a lead balloon
i see your face before me
and my heart becomes my tomb
your silence brings no comfort
and i dare not speak a word
inside my soul I'm screaming
but my cries will go unheard
soon that door will open
cold light will fill my eyes
I'm waiting for the rainbow
but there's darkness still inside.

finding the truth about lies

could i be happy to carry on along my merry way
when deep inside i cannot see much truth in all you say?
if ignorance indeed is bliss, then who am i pry?
what good is the truth, i ask, if it will make me cry?
is honesty the final flaw in what could be endless bliss?
would we care at all for truth if it wasn't there to miss?
beligerent and blasted are those who seek such things
when everybody knows too well the unhappiness it brings
merrily oh merrily i turn i blinded eye
happiness, it seems to me, does lie within a lie.

518400 days

Pale is the face that lies beneath the cool glass of the river.
Empty are the green eyes that stare vacantly beyond the babbling brook.
A crooked grimace there owes nothing to happiness...but much to insanity.
The moonlight casts its silver threads about her flowing hair.
is this she who loved you so?
she, who gave you her heart...only to bleed evermore from the wounds that refused to heal?
so long now has she bled for you that her very tears run crimson with despair.
518400 days to be precise.
Though it would seem that it was longer.
Each day an eternity, trapped inside this never ending pool of darkness
cast by the shadows of your memory.
I beseech you,
reach out your hands and stem the crimson tears that were born of wanting
let her voice ring once more, glorious and proud!
give her back to me
i cannot live without my soul.

the price i pay

arms so warm and tender
raise me up to silver skies
looking deep into forever
with a sadness in my eyes
the strongest arms will some day fail
and weaken over time
what then will there be left for me
if you´re no longer mine
could i still caress your skin
could gentle breezes kiss
these are the things that bother me
the things that i would miss
your dreamers breath that whispers
your heart, that steady drum
the laughter and the joy we´ll share in times still yet to come
what would life be worth to me
without you by my side
could there still be that forever
or would time just fade and die
could there still be winter
without promise of a spring
this i ask of you my love
for that is what you bring
when times are cold and dreary
and the air is colder still
it is your love that warms me
and keeps me safe from winters chill
but what love would i do
without you id be lost
my gift from god was loving you
but even love comes at a cost

Bitter

there are corners in my mind
where memories are gathering
i clear away the cobwebs
and my tears all shine as new
and sharp still is the pain they bring
these long lost thoughts of old
these remenances of days i spent with you
a swelling in my stomach
an acheing in my heart
i´ve locked away these memories
since the moment we did part
my melencholy pictures
my sad and sombre songs
all lost inside these boxes
all hidden for so long
saddened am i now to watch them
these things i longed to hide
bitterness and anger were the price for senceless pride
but now the pictures all are faded and bitter is my grief
as anger swarms my thoughts and dreams in newfound disbelief