jonny

 

chapters of my life

i had a million dreams to live
not one has yet come true
i never danced upon a stage
i never sang a tune
a child has eyes like no one else
eyes that dare to dream
but it's hard to live the dream nowadays
with all the things i've seen
i never went to law school
or earned a high degree
i didnt publish poems
not even two or three
i did not become an astronaught
i never learned to fly
maybe dreams like this
just werent meant for the likes of i
i got myself a steady job
and tried to settle down
but no matter how i tried to swim
i always seemed to drown
i lost my job one summer time
and my lover the fall before
it never seems to be too long
before misery knocks the door
i look back on all my dreams
from times when i was small
and it startles me to realise
i have none left at all
i do not dream of fortune
of fame or such and like
i dont dream of racing grand prix cars
while fixing up my bike
i dont dream of my husband
the one i thought would be
i dont dream of my children
it just wasn't meant for me
i wish for things like happiness
i wish for night and day
i wish for things i know will come
even if not right away
i dont wish for the love
of the man who broke my heart
i dont wish for a happy ending
i pray to find the start
so id like to end my story
but it has not yet begun
but maybe there will be more to tell
and this is just chapter one.

together again

remember when i was just about nine
and you were barely ten
you and me sang songs together
over and again
but now all that times passed us by
and that was way back when
i wander if we'll ever sing together again

we grew up and music changed
we both chose different beats
i can still remember
we went dancing in the streets
but now all that time has passed us by
since back when we were young
i wander if you'll still remember
songs that we both sung

now im nearly fourty-three
and you're no longer here
i can still hear your voice though
there it echoes in my ear
even though you've passed me by
those old songs ease the pain
but i still just cant help wandering
if we'll sing together once again...

Someone's Jaded Memories: if i was your lover

Someone's Jaded Memories: if i was your lover

if i was your lover

if i were wealthy
i would by you the world and wrap it up with string
if i were clever
i would make sense of this life for you
if i were a healer
i would make you feel no pain
if i were a cellist
i would compose my music in your beautiful image
if i were a gardener
i would grow you sweet roses
if i was your lover
i would tell you all of these things in a poem
if i was a poet
i would tell you these things while we made love.

Whore

you walk into my room and say
my god I've had an awful day
i listen and pretend to care
half wishing that you weren't there
you pull me close and kiss my chest
and say 'you know, i like you best'
you lay me down and strip me bare
now you're the one pretending to care
i feel the blood now rising high
you stretch your arms up to the sky
to feel the sweat
the heat
the taste
you'd lay your whole damn life to waste
you close your eyes
the lights grow dim
i´ll moan and beg you
put it in
your hands caress me
now you shake
you hope to god
that you wont wake
your body screams out
please don't stop
but what of the other girl you've got?
where is she in all of this?
i kiss your chest
in ill feigned bliss
then suddenly
your mind returns
inside you're wishing i was her
your eyes grow distant
you say no more
now you've got what you came for
you leave the money on the stand
no strings attached
just cash in hand
you go back to your perfect life
your perfect home
your perfect wife
i scream 'don't you come back no more!'
that's what you get
when you're a whore.

waiting for the rainbow

I'm waiting for the rainbow
and I'm lying on the floor
the cool blue hue of solitude
is shining through the door
inside the air is warmer
and your body burns my skin
I'm waiting for the rainbow
but there's darkness still within
I'm waiting for that moment
I'm waiting for a sign
i want to know if so is so
and if you're really mine
my head feels light and dizzy
my body's a lead balloon
i see your face before me
and my heart becomes my tomb
your silence brings no comfort
and i dare not speak a word
inside my soul I'm screaming
but my cries will go unheard
soon that door will open
cold light will fill my eyes
I'm waiting for the rainbow
but there's darkness still inside.